


I See You

by Squiish



Category: Buzzfeedunsolved
Genre: Angels, Boogara, Comfort, Demon, Demons, F/M, Forbidden Love, Horror, Hurt, Romance, Ryan Bergara/Reader - Freeform, Shaniac, Shanw Madej/Reader, Supernatural - Freeform, angel - Freeform, buzzfeedunsolved - Freeform, mature - Freeform, mature language, ryan bergara - Freeform, shane madej - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-06-09 22:22:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19485214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squiish/pseuds/Squiish
Summary: You are a centuries-old Guardian-Angel sent to protect Ryan Bergara, a highly sensitive and precious soul that must be kept safe at all costs. This is not just a side-effect of Ryan's personality however, years from now he is to become a highly important Seraphim in the Choir of Angels- destined to guide the rapidly deteriorating world to safety upon his death. As a result of his power, a vast number of entities covet his soul; should he die as the hands at one of these entities the future of humanity is non-existent. Taking over the role of Ryan's protector as a newly-appointed Cherubim, you are introduced to all around him: Including his best friend Shane, who just happens to be the son of Lucifer.





	1. Nice To Meet You, Ryan

Tentatively scanning the delightfully monotone room you found yourself in, you nurse a weak coffee, rich with frothed milk and sugar. The warmth of the stained ceramic mug that was swaddled in your hands made you smile slightly: You loved the subtly blissful aspects of human life. You didn't need the things that humans did, of course- you were not human after-all, however the little things that humans do over the course of their day helped you to blend-in effectively; sleeping (or at the very least pretending to), eating, drinking, brushing your teeth, etc. Your celestial nature allowed you to remain in a fresh, clean, groomed state as long as you wanted it to; in reality you could be anything you wanted to! This form was not yours, no form truly was, therefore you could alter it to your specifications seeing as you had the power to make it so.

You gently rested your mug on the small table before you, tracing the stains and scratches that highlighted the deep-mahogany shade. You were able to see the causes of this weathering: much like you could with scars of the past upon flesh. A not-quite-fully-formed ring of what appeared to be a scorching coffee-glass of black americano was created as a result of a middle-aged man absentmindedly staring at his newspaper and neglecting his drink around 3 years ago. The shallow line of scratches adjacent to this caused by a teen boy anxiously awaiting his first date (the nerves of which he took out on the wood with his car-keys) around a fortnight ago. Everything told a story, and you were lucky enough to have the ability to see what they were.

Abrupt ringing brought you out of your headspace and focused your attention to the rustic bell above the door- your task had finally arrived, pushing the badly-varnished wood with one hand, scrolling through social media with the other.

Angels don't usually take a human form; it limits their abilities to an extent and puts them in more danger than they would ordinarily be in, however this was an extremely extenuating set of circumstances. The man before you was more important than any mortal around him would ever know, including himself. Unlike most people, Ryan Bergara held an incredibly rare and beautiful soul- he had levels of compassion that ran-rings around 99% of the Earth's population, his only competitors being other humans that were to experience the same fate as himself, although Ryan was something different. There was only one being that held the same abilities as Ryan within each generation, more commonly known among the Choir as a Peace-keeper. Once one Peace-keeper perished, another was born, protected by a Cherubim such as yourself for the entirety of their life. Peace-keepers held extremely high levels of; empathy, kindness, generosity, and were of an impeccably just, positive, and diplomatic nature- hence the title awarded to them by the Choir.

Traits such as these secured a soul's fate to watch over and guide humanity as the highest ranking-being in the Choir of Angels after the death of their mortal form, a Seraphim.

As expected, there were entities that opposed this; some raking their way up from the depths of Hell to destroy the Peace-Keeper's Cherubim, and the Peace-keeper their-self in close succession, the ultimate goal of this to eradicate humanity to harvest soul-energy. The murder of Peace-keepers and their Cherubims had occurred within the past, many times. However with humanity in more of a vulnerable position than it had ever been, there was no room for error this time. Unfortunately, Ryan's last Cherubim had faced the consequences of this type of error.

Abraxos was his name, and he was a dear friend.

Before Ryan's move to Los Angeles, a demon that had stalked the pair relentlessly finally decided to attack Abraxos (Who had established himself as Ryan's long-term friend), eventually killing him. Ryan believed that Abraxos, who he knew as Joshua, had been the victim of a mugging. After Abraxos' passing, you, a highly skilled angel who had recently been appointed as a Cherubim, were tasked with Ryan's protection.

Your eyes sunk slightly at the memory of your dear friend as you watched Ryan approach the counter, placing his hands down on the sticky counter-top, eagerly looking over the drinks menu. There is no doubt in your mind that he is also in pain after Abraxos' passing, you felt it.

What Abraxos started would not be wasted.

Your eyes darted around Ryan's immediate area, carefully crafting the cause of your first meeting. Eventually, you noticed Ryan thank the barista for his drink, and approach a table of sugars, stirring sticks, cutlery, and napkins next to the cashier's counter. Oh, you knew exactly what you were going to do. Without hesitation, you used your oh-so-useful abilities to yank the wad of napkins that he had collected out of his hands, the shock causing him to startle and subsequently drop his drink also. There was nothing in the rules about Cherubims not being allowed to cause mischief, it was for Ryan's protection after all.

Heads once idle with chatter hushed, turning to the cause of commotion. You wasted no time in darting up from your seat, striding to help the now crouching Ryan mop up his 'accidental' spill.

You began to mop the drink, Ryan's gaze meeting yours with a look of desperation, apology, and embarrassment.

"It always has to happen when everyone's watching, doesn't it?", you smiled kindly.

He gave out a nervous chuckle, "Hehe... Yeah. That was the last of my spare-change too, I'm such an idiot sometimes", he returned your smile in response, looking slightly more relaxed at your calm demeanour.

"Hey, it happens to the best of us!", you said light-heartedly, rising from your crouched position to dispose of the soaked napkins, eyeing your collective handiwork that left a glistening spot of liquid under the hanging-lights of the coffee shop. "Tell you what, I'll get you another and you can cure me of my boredom?".

Ryan looked at you for a moment, "You really don't have to, I can just use my card-".

"I insist, it'll be my good deed for the day, you wouldn't deny a new friend a good deed, would you?", you cut him off.

He smiled, "Sure, man", he extended your hand out to yours, "Ryan, and my new friend is?".

"My name's (Y/N), Nice to meet you, Ryan".

This was the start of your friendship and your mission. The both of you proceeded to become inseparable over a number of years, you had made admirable headway in the amount of time your protection had been assigned to Ryan. You had spent holidays together, met on an almost daily basis, met his family, and shared intimate feelings and secrets with one-another (extremely vague or altered to fit the constraints of a human life on your part). Although above all you were Ryan's protector, he was also your best friend, and you felt so privileged to get to know him like you have, with the added bonus of a connection such as the both of yours' making your job substantially easier.

Recently, Ryan had been recounting details of his job's new YouTube series to you, he, an avid believer in spirits (which warmed your core) and his sceptical co-worker named Shane would alternate visiting supposedly haunted locations, and review unsolved crimes. This season the pair were visiting the supposedly haunted locations, and as you and Ryan had spoken about otherworldly concepts often way too late into the night, you were surprised to hear him ask, "Why don't you come with us on our next trip? You love this kind of stuff! That and my two best friends can meet each other! C'mon (Y/N)! Ill protect you". He jokingly flexed his biceps, making you giggle.

You knew how scared he got at the idea of a potential presence being close, you not only felt how anxious he became before he left, but you also watched each of his investigations. This situation was undoubtedly surprising, but you had been awaiting it nonetheless. Protecting Ryan was all you cared about, and when his job entailed him putting himself in direct danger, and in the vicinity of all of the entities that wanted to rip his soul to shreds when you weren't there made you extremely worried.

You often wondered why they hadn't. He was unprotected, scared, vulnerable, and there were often moments in which he stood in a room alone with almost 20 demons at once, shakily whimpering into a spirit box. You could see them all on video, and they were in every. Single. One. Being the lower-level demons they were, they could not hide themselves from Angels (which you were thankful for), however you feared Ryan being harmed by the ones even you couldn't see: for those ones you relied totally on your senses, or them revealing themselves to you, which was highly unlikely.

The look on his face was enough to persuade you, but his protection drove your answer.

"I don't need protecting man, I'll fight them myself!".


	2. I’m Not Going Anywhere

Ryan couldn't contain his excitement after you agreed to accompany him and Shane on their next ghost-hunt, he'd been constantly gushing over how much you're going to love it, explaining their past hunts in intricate detail, and telling you about all of the viable locations to visit that were being bounced around by him and his team. Each time he spoke to you about it he always seemed as though he was lost in a terrifying yet exhilarating world of his own, recalling each creaky floorboard overhead, bodiless whisper, and inexplicable tap on his shoulder that wound the feelings of being insane and utterly petrified together. No matter how many times he spoke about it (which was more often than not), you couldn't help but lean forward, head cupped in the palms of your hands, soaking up every word. Seeing him so enthralled was heart-warming; his emotional wellbeing was as important to you as his physical wellbeing after all.

You noticed the subtle changes in his demeanour when recounting his stories: he would go from excitement, to amazement, to eagerness, to nervousness, and at this point something would change. He would stare at any object in front or below him, as if he was re-living it all again. His eyes would glass over as he told you about the scariest part of the investigations- sleeping over. Even without these physical cues, you could sense anxiety seeping into his aura like an oil-spill in fresh water. It spread like an infectious bacteria. Just as you would consider reaching out to him, giving him a reassuring touch to the forearm, it stopped.

This always happened at the same moment. The moment he mentioned Shane.

Seconds before he was seemingly consumed by his terror, he smiled. The catalyst to this would always be, "But then Shane said...", or, "Shane told me...", even once telling you that, "Shane told the spirits that they were spooky ass-clowns", laughing as he did so. Watching the video back after Ryan recounted Shane's unprovoked insult, you could indeed confirm that they were not exactly happy about it, but Shane has achieved the desired effect, they left Ryan alone. It seemed almost intentional as you linked the pattern of this occurring within every one of their videos like a knitted blanket. Adversely discouraged by you (as insulting spirits was a risky set of dice to roll), although it kept Ryan safe... And it was slightly funny, but the Choir didn't need to know that.

This aforementioned situation had occurred yet again as Ryan recounted the pair's experience at the, 'Sally House', however after mentioning Shane, he turned his attention to you. He gushed for a decent 5 minutes about how much he was looking forward to you two meeting one another as you shifted into a more comfortable position on Ryan's bleach-white cotton sofa. "You guys are going to love each other, trust me, Shane's just the type of person you'd get along with!", he stressed to you with a toothy smile.

"You think so?", you smiled. After hearing so much about Shane you were admittedly excited to finally meet him, and in the back of your mind you hoped you both did get on well; It'd allow you to be around Ryan more frequently than you already were (if that were indeed possible), resulting in being able to protect him more effectively. Ryan had arranged for you to meet Shane that evening as your trip to the Winchester Mystery Museum was tomorrow. The plan was that all three of you would stay the night at Ryan's apartment, and set out early the next morning to check into a nearby hotel. Unlike other videos, the duration of your guys' stay would span two days rather than one, as the museum had many artefacts that would be difficult to gather footage on in one day.

Shane was due to come over within the next 10 minutes, and had texted Ryan expressing that he was on his way.

Apprehension and anticipation stalked around your thoughts in an unending battle for dominance, on the one hand you were excited to experience this aspect of Ryan's life that you had previously been passively watching over, however you also had the presence of several demons to worry about on the other hand.

Knowing for a fact that there were indeed many of the demons suspected to be in the building within the building, it made you uneasy to picture them all looking at Ryan like a rump-steak, which they inevitably would. Even more so, you had seen the way Shane acts around the spirits and demons he didn't believe in, he was an irritant that played on their rage like a fiddle. You hoped that you could curb this for Ryan's sake, even just for the episode. There is no doubt he'd be immensely freaked-as-all-get-out, and rightly so; this is the most dangerous place they have ever visited, and one of the most demon-infested hell-caverns in the world.

A rhythmic rapping ripped you away form your tense mindset, apparently Shane had arrived early. That or Ryan had ordered food. Both were equally likely.

A drawn-out and musical, "Ryan!", confirmed to you that it was indeed Shane, you recognised the voice from the many videos you had seen not only posted to YouTube, but also plastered all over Ryan's social media. Your head turned and matched-pace with Ryan as he jogged to open his apartment door, however as you locked your gaze onto the closed door you felt it.

Something wasn't right. Your gut dropped and felt like a black-hole had opened up inside of it. Electric pulses of adrenaline and primal anxiety coursed though your human form like a malfunctioning fire hydrant. You felt every single thing and more that the Choir had warned you about feeling should the Peace-Keeper come under immediate threat; dread, anger, fear, hatred, however most of all protectiveness. At this point you were ready to destroy someone or something to the point that the Choir would be able to feel it in tremors. Nothing was going to touch Ryan.

Keeping your cool as to not alert him, you stood a little too fast and marched to Ryan's side to greet whatever embodiment of malevolence stood on the other side of the door.

Ryan held the door half-way open as he looked to you smiling, mistaking your fury for eagerness. Within a second the door was fully open, revealing Shane. "Shane! C'mon in man!", Ryan beamed.

You were so confused but the feelings within you lingered, although you were unsure why they were there. Was there someone else out there? Was there someone breaking into Ryan's car? Was Ryan going to have an immanent medical emergency? Questions flew around your brain at the speed of light as you strenuously tried to identify the issue so you could protect Ryan, but it soon came apparent.

Just as Shane closed Ryan's door behind him, Ryan began an introduction, "Oh! By the way, Shane, this is (Y/N), (Y/N)- Shane!". He grinned as he busied himself with retrieving drinks and snacks from his kitchen. As Ryan dipped out of sight, Shane turned to you, hand open-palmed and outstretched, "Nice to meet you, (Y/N)". Still intensely confused, you took Shane's hand. You knew then.

It was him.

He grinned wildly and gripped your hand tight, shaking it slowly. You saw everything as soon as you touched him. You saw an aura that burned you from the inside-out like fire, you saw soul-less eyes reveal themselves to you, and you saw what he really was. A demon. Everything all of a sudden clicked into place, the dread, the anger, the fear, the hatred. You wouldn't feel this way in the presence of a normal demon though, you were too strong for that, but Shane wasn't a lowly demon, no. What stood in front of you was the son of Lucifer, and you were ready to slaughter it right here, right now.

"Don't touch me", you spat in a low voice, yanking your hand away and scowling up at the being before you. "You have no right to be here", you said, keeping your voice quiet enough so Ryan would be ignorant of your conversation, however still terrifyingly menacing.

Shane smiled, apparently enjoying your reaction, "Ouch! I thought angels were supposed to be nice?", he laughed a little, however it devolved into a deep, rich laugh that split into four separate voices. "Oh I'm so glad to finally meet you", he cocked his head to the side with satisfaction covering his face.

"Not to you. You need to leave, now.", you thought it fair to give a warning.

Ryan reappeared abruptly with bottles of coke and boxes of cookies and various other snacks, smiling at both of you as he placed them on the coffee table, "Make yourself at home man! Why don't we all play some video games or something?". Ryan looked like a 10 year-old at a birthday party, he was evidently pleased to have both of his best friends in the same place at the same time with him, although you knew he'd feel differently if he knew what Shane really was. You decided not to make a scene in front of Ryan unless absolutely necessary, finding out about all of this would be too much to handle for him.

Shane Smiled at Ryan, "Thanks, dude!", angling himself to move past you. As he did so, he craned his head to be level with your ear, whispering in the same deep, ominous, quad-person voice, "I'm not going to hurt him... And I'm not going anywhere".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The investigation mentioned has not been previously filmed, it is figurative for the purposes of the story.


	3. I’m Watching You

Utter distain simmered inside your throat as Shane passed you, flopping beside Ryan as if he hadn't just indirectly threatened his wellbeing, albeit cryptically. Nestling himself into the recess of the cushions created by Ryan appointing the seat as, 'his favourite spot', Shane reached for the cookies Ryan had bought and shoved one into his mouth whole. Shane passed the box to Ryan, to which Ryan responded with the same shoving-cookie-whole-in-face, followed by an extremely audible 'crunch'.

You stepped carefully toward the chair in front of the sofa, a heavily cushioned cup-type chair with thin wooden supports, hiding your animosity well as you did so. Ryan was none-the-wiser that seething venom in your stomach bubbled, and you felt more than ready to strike and pierce Shane's very being, filling the hunger-lust for souls with bile-like acid-hatred as you watched his pitiful form cease to exist. However, that was inapplicable for the time-being. You began to watch the boys playing a retro videogame from Ryan's childhood; smiling and cheering moderately when the pair would clear a level, expressing frustration when each avatar died (very often), and laughing along with jokes: even telling your own where you could. It was painful. Laughing along with a demon as he was less than a palm's distance from the most precious being on the Earth filled you with desperation to spring from your position and tug Ryan away from what sat beside him. It was overwhelming, however you knew that exposing Ryan to this wasn't fair.

Switching periodically from player, to spectator, to player again; the evening stretched into the night. At times there were opportunities to play 3-player games, to which you obliged. You knew that Ryan was excited about this whole situation, although oblivious to the danger he was in, refusing would create questions that you could not answer and you didn't want to dampen his evident joy. Upon these occasions, you ensured that you would perch on the sofa just beside Shane, knowing he felt the viciousness in your aura pulsating like it had it's own heart; a creature born of hatred from an Angel.

He never reacted to it, but you knew that he was smugly admiring the reaction he managed to evoke from you. You didn't want to give him what he wanted, but when Ryan's safety came into play, you didn't care for the joy or sadness of potential threats; as long as they were away from Ryan, you didn't care.

As the night danced forward, Ryan began to grow tired. He resigned himself to bed with the explanation of not wanting to be fatigued for tomorrow's trip, assigning both you and Shane places to sleep and bidding you both goodnight. His smile was one of pure happiness and satisfaction; he was about to spend two days with his two best friends, and they got along as well as he thought they would! You smiled back at Ryan with a quiet, "Night, Ry", your smile dropping into a thundering disapproval after Ryan turned his back, like a blacksmith had banged the kinks out of your mouth.

You turned to face Shane who still sat in front of you. His head was still turned to face Ryan's back as he ambled down the hallway to his room, only turning to face you once the bedroom door made a soft, 'click'. He smirked, resting his elbows to his knees and knitting his fingers together, supporting his face on his mesh of hands, "Well", he said, not following up with anything at all.

Staring, the same disapproving look in your eyes didn't shift for a moment. You said nothing, just rose to walk to Ryan's guest bedroom, your appointed bed for the night, while Shane was left with the sofa. You planned to somehow hinder the trip in the morning, hurting Shane now would be too risky, that would come soon. Just as you passed the sofa that Shane had not left all evening, he spoke again.

"Wait". This was not a request, it sounded like more of a menacing order, like a tyrannical King allowing one of his servants to leave his Throne-room after being scolded for a minor mishap, only to call them back and behead them right there. You turned to see Shane standing and facing you, the sofa separating the both of you. He was indeed as tall as Ryan had repeatedly mentioned, but this didn't intimidate you. "What?", you were blank and quiet.

Pausing, "I'd think that would've been pretty obvious", he grinned at his remark, a genuine grin. There was something strange about this, your feelings of desperate aggression had dissipated (although you were still completely ready to attack at any sign of Ryan's life being jeopardy), and you felt eerily comfortable. You were standing in the presence of Lucifer's son as the human race's saviour slept soundly around 20 metres away, of which attracted demons from the deepest recesses of hell's fiery abyss for Christ's sake! There was not one single second in which, 'comfortable', should be used to describe the situation.

You stared, remaining blank, "What do you want with Ryan?". Bending his large legs to sit once again, he motioned for you to take the seat across from him in which you had previously been sitting. Confused and apprehensive, you obliged cautiously. Surely this was a ploy of some sort. you were sure of that! Thus provoking the question, 'Why am I sitting and conversing with a Demon over the most precious being in the world?'.

Once you had barely perched yourself on the edge of the chair, he began, "I'll skip the introductions, I know what you are, you know what I am, and who I am", he gestured to himself with a smirk, however softening his expression quickly as he sat up straight, "And I know who you are, (Y/N)".

"You don't know anything about me", your words were abrupt, spilling out of your mouth in defensiveness before you could stop them.

Shane widened his eyes, making an 'ehh' face as if you were a student that had gotten half of an answer right. "I know more than you think, but anyway!", he said quickly, "On to Ryan! Your precious baby boy, he is precious, isn't he? Always so skittish and clumsy! You know- once, we were in-".

"Get on with it", uninterested with his stories, you were done playing his games.

He stopped, raising his eyebrows at you. He nodded, amused, "Direct! I like it!". You scowled as he shifted into a more comfortable position, "Ryan and I met a few days after he moved to California, in fact he was on his way back from seeing me when he met you at that coffee shop!".

You were almost confused beyond redemption at this point, "How did you know-", Shane held his finger in the air as if to silence you.

"All in good time my feathery friend, all in good time. Where was I? Ah! Yes, Ryan and I have been friends for years now! we met through work as you've probably deduced, and it pretty much all went from there- but, I understand that this isn't your question.". He paused for a moment before continuing, "What do I want with Ryan? Well, the answer is pretty simple! To be friends. That's it.". Shane made a 'taa-daa!' motion with his hands as he awaited your reaction, as if his answer was obvious.

"You really expect me to believe that the son of the most evil being present in this world just 'wants to be friends' with a Peace-keeper? That you don't want to harvest his soul? That you don't want to destroy humanity?". You became more enraged with each question, the accusatory tone in your voice becoming more noticeable.

"Yeah, yeah I'm aware of how it sounds. Look, yes- I am the second-highest-ranking Demon on Earth, and yes- I have a close friendship with a Peace-keeper, but don't you think that I would have taken Ryan's soul by now if I wanted it? I've had literally every opportunity to do it! Hell, I could even do it right now if I wanted to!", you tensed slightly at this, gripping the arm of the chair gently, "But that's the thing! I don't! I don't want it! Demons take souls to use for energy to become more powerful- we don't need them to survive, we've technically never been alive at all! I'm already as strong as I want to be, I have the abilities to possess a human form, communicate with mortals and spirits, even you! I have all I could want. As for Ryan, we met by chance. I had no idea until our first hand-shake.".

Although what Shane was telling you made somewhat of an argument, you remained sceptical of his claims, "I can't and do not trust a word you say, you do realise that?", you said.

Shane sighed an exasperated and dramatic huff, "The whole Angel thing, I get it.".

"Your story still doesn't explain why you 'protect' Ryan, you ward away other demons in your investigations, don't you?". You remembered the videos of the investigations you had seen previously, and how Ryan remained unharmed consistently despite the concentration of Demons.

"I do", Shane said with triumph.

"Why?", you fired back.

Shane shrugged, "I like Ryan's company, he's a nice guy and he doesn't deserve to have his soul shredded to bits. Humanity is an interesting bunch of souls, I enjoy mingling with them, existence would be pretty boring without them, don't you think?", Shane said excitedly.

You still didn't believe a single word that flowed from his lips, it may as well have been poison in the Choir's eyes. However, there was something about his demeanour that told you something else entirely. Noticing the quizzical look on your face, Shane jumped in again, "Look- I get that you can't believe me, but if it makes you feel better, you can keep your eyes on me all trip, every single minute of every day If you want". He sounded like a car-salesman attempting to persuade you to buy a brand-new, ridiculously expensive vehicle while you were slowly losing-grip on your grasp of the constructs put in place by the choir.

He extended his hand out to you, "What do you think? Friends?".

Staring at Shane's smile that seemed to be hope-filled, you paused. Were you really considering trusting the second-most-powerful Demon in the world with the future of humanity? Putting Ryan in any danger was completely out of the question, however you couldn't shake the way Shane's tone spoke to you.

"Well?", he said.

You rose, walking past him. His eyes followed you until you stood behind the sofa he was seated at. Not turning to face Shane, you said, 'We are not friends. I'm going to be watching every move you make, Shane, one sign that Ryan is danger and I will rip you out of your human form and destroy you", walking to Ryan's guest-bedroom to sit with your ear pressed to Ryan's wall all night to listen for signs of a struggle, you ended the evening's festivities.


	4. Thank you, Shane

Barcoded sunlight projected itself onto the cream walls of Ryan's guest-bedroom, created by new white blinds that you hadn't thought to close the previous night. It didn't matter to you though, as you hadn't slept at all anyway. Animalistic instincts that were hell-bent on keeping Ryan safe ignited a flame of adrenaline that you knew wouldn't leave, not as long as Shane was around. Unflinching eyes trained themselves on the bedroom door as the hours blurred into one another, it would've been peaceful without the given circumstances. Shane's words clouded your head all night like a brewing storm, though. You knew that Demons were manipulative beyond the reaches of comprehension; if you were naïve enough they would pull your strings, they used people like a marionette in their puppet show, however his tones dragged at your rigid mindset. "I don't! I don't want it!", such sincerity, such conviction, however it could all just as easily be lies. You knew without a shadow of a doubt that Shane could wrap you around his finger if he wanted to and if you allowed him, you were not as powerful as he is in terms of celestial capability; although you were more than capable and more than willing to put your life at risk and give everything your soul held to keep Ryan safe. Your scepticism was well-deserved, however one point kept you from maintaining your volatile attitude towards him: If Shane wanted Ryan's soul, why hasn't he just taken it?

Rationality had died long ago in your war of mind, but you couldn't understand. You were more than certain that as the day played out things wouldn't become any easier or get any clearer, but you began to question if you wanted it to.

Stirring turned to excitement turned to preparation; Ryan had woken up relatively early. Shane followed suit around 30 minutes later (with a vast array of yawns and apparently the limb-energy-capacity of a rag-doll). The boys idly chatted over breakfast. You listened mostly, not speaking under the guise of being tired, although your thoughts blocked the passage to your mouth. You hadn't addressed Shane all morning, partially because you were mentally somewhere else and partially because he had being occupying your mind all night; you didn't need anymore of him today.

Bags bulging with equipment and clothes that were packed in yesterday's early evening were loaded into a hire-van within two trips; there were only the three of you present during this investigation, which was another odd aspect of the trip. You had been asked by Ryan (and agreed) to be the camera-operator for this investigation, and film throughout the duration of the trip. Therefore, the usual crew-members were not obligated to attend, and had opted out due to the siren-like call of a day-off. Ryan had taught you how to use each piece of equipment and you were confident within your abilities, though you feared one of the expensive cameras being smashed as a result of you having to vault yourself onto a demon at less than a moment's notice; if so, so be it. Ryan had hired the van, a black 8-seater, resultantly taking the role of designated driver while you and Shane were to occupy the vacant seats and take the roles of DJ and expert conversationalist.

After Ryan had locked his apartment up, the three of you were good to go. You set one of the smaller video-cameras up as you stood outside of the van in order to record some footage of the journey. You and the boys were heading to San Diego to visit the William Heath Davis House, a location that had been a suggested site for a potential investigation long before you knew of Ryan's career. The journey would take around 3 hours at least, so there would likely be moments that you would catch something interesting to put into the video. The building and surrounding area you were visiting had a host of spirits, most of which you knew were present; however there was nothing too sinister, although that didn't mean dangerous entities couldn't be attracted, especially as a result of Shane's presence. Ryan looked like a child on his way to Disneyland as he quickly fell into the driver's seat, you took your seat in the back of the van facing away from the driver's and passenger's seats (as there was a misshapen wall of bags wedged into the opposite row of seats). You had assumed that Shane would be sitting at Ryan's right hand, however you found yourself mistaken as Shane offloaded his backpack into the passenger's seat, closed the passenger's seat door, un-wedged one of the bags from it's tetris-like formation, laid it carefully onto the floor, and took a seat directly facing you.

You were certain at this point that Shane was trying to (poorly) initiate some type of mind-game with you, and you were not going to engage in it. "Ready guys?", Ryan said excitedly, facing the two of you in the back seats. You turned to Ryan with a toothy grin, both you and Shane uttering variations of, "Yeah!". You could feel the innocent wonder dispersing from Ryan's aura like pollen, you found it comforting and sweet, like the sensation that you were home. Ryan was your home. Eyes lingering on Shane for a few moments, Ryan turned his head back to the wheel and started the van up, pulling out of his apartment's car-park.

Looking down at your camera you avoided Shane's gaze, you wanted to concentrate on making this experience enjoyable and as positive as it could be for Ryan. You also wanted to gain the opportunity to be invited along more often. Ryan was in his most vulnerable state at times like this and, unbeknownst to him, that's when he needed you most, therefore you wanted to focus on catching exemplary footage. Although as you did so, you noticed something; you felt another aura around you, and it most certainly wasn't Ryan's. Ruling out the two people who you knew weren't causing it in the van, that left Shane. Concentrating on the strangely intense pulsations in front of you while still staring down at the camera's screen, you felt his disappointment. You were right, things weren't becoming any less confusing. Out of disbelief, you looked up to Shane, locking eyes with him. You then felt another wave; relief.

Both pairs of eyes lingering, you opened your mouth to speak, however you were cut-off by a sudden increase in the volume of the radio. Ryan had poured countless hours of yesterday into creating a solid road-trip playlist that he was sure all of you would enjoy, and his effort was now reverberating in your ears like audio-happiness. But you couldn't help but feel disheartened at your abrupt silencing.

Loud, horrendous singing at the highest volume that all of your vocal chords could muster then occupied the following 1.5 hours, expelling any previous confusion you held from your mind. Filming some of the screaming-fit, you lost yourself in the elated atmosphere, dancing in your seat and occasionally filming scenes for your own memories. It felt like, even for a while, things were normal. You were three friends going on a road-trip together, enjoying the moment as the wind tangled your hair through the open windows. Elation deescalating, Ryan turned down the radio. "Hey! You guys hungry?".

"Hell yeah!", Shouted Shane, obviously still on a high, resulting in Ryan making a swift left-turn into a nearby fast-food restaurant. Your smile remained plastered across your face as Ryan turned the music back up, however not as loud as it previously was. Moving your shoulders to the beat in a restricted attempt at dancing while strapped in place, you looked up to see Shane smirking at you. He quickly mirrored your movements in playful mockery. You smiled and continued, Ryan looking into the mirror at the both of you jamming-out together as he weaved the van through the obstruction-filled car-park.

Music stopping, you undid your seatbelt. The fun you were having had screamed louder than your hunger, which hit you as soon as your shoe made contact with the hot bitumen that (unevenly) covered the span of the car-maze around you. You had to feed your human form sometimes in order to sustain energy, although not as often as mortals. At this point you hadn't eaten a sufficient amount in 3 days. You knew that Shane likely needed even less sustenance in his human form than you did, considering his abilities, however you had deduced in your less-than-a-day of knowing him that he enjoyed food. Locking up the van, the three of you headed inside ready to eat. Gently swiping the glass door open, Ryan peeked his head around the establishment in search of a clean and empty table that the three of you could occupy. You volunteered to find suitable seating while the boys ordered for themselves and you, telling Ryan that you would give him the money for your order when they both came back. Confirming plans with a smile and a casual, "Sure", Ryan parted ways with you to head to the cashier, Shane ambling behind him.

After a short time wandering from one pole to the other of the seating area, you found a booth situated next to a window that looked like it had more than enough space for all of you; you took no time in snapping it up. Wedging yourself comfortably into the corner of the booth, you placed the small bag you had with you in the space next to you. You felt like a spider that had nestled itself into a recess of a wall. The red leather-covering of the seats had cracked with age, crusty to the touch. In some places it had been picked or scratched off, making it look like the coat of a dog with mild alopecia. Smiling gently you traced the tips of your pointer, middle, and ring fingers across one of these bald spots. Much like the markings on the table at the coffee shop in which you had met Ryan, you were able to identify the cause of the weathering. It had been caused by a group of teenagers about 2 years ago; they had been on summer break and were taking a road trip while camping out in a few spots. They decided to eat here before setting off, you felt the excitement and freedom flow from the seat into your body.

Shane and Ryan returned not too long later carrying two trays filled with food, and you spotted your chosen meal. "Thanks Ryan", you said, almost satisfied by just looking at the meal he set down in front of you. "How much was it? I have notes and change", you said, pulling out a little over the amount of money you estimated the meal to be from your bag, just in case.

"Oh! Don't worry about it", Ryan replied, taking a seat next to Shane on the opposite side of the booth, "Shane paid for it all".

"Oh!", more surprise than you intended escaped into your tone as you turned to face Shane. "Thank you, Shane, how much do I owe you?". This was possibly the first verbal interaction the both of you had shared that wasn't rife with animosity.

"Nothing", Shane said with a mouth that was already occupied with chewing his fries, "I wanted to pay". He rubbed his hands together to rid the flecks of salt from his skin. Looking at Shane for a moment, you lowered the hand that contained the money.

"Thank you, Shane. That was really kind of you", your smile mimicked your gratitude, it was genuine and thankful.

"Yeah, thanks man", Ryan chorused before beginning to eat, earning a nod from Shane that spoke, 'You're welcome', wordlessly. The rest of the meal went by filled with laughing and short bursts of filming from each of you, you were noticeably more talkative now when compared to the first-half of the journey and the previous evening. Picking up on it yourself, your mood quickly grounded. You had to keep in mind the circumstances; for all you know Shane was trying to earn a place on your good side so he could slaughter both you and Ryan simultaneously for bragging's sake. Your input to the remainder of the conversation drastically lessened after that.

Once finished eating, you disposed of your litter and headed back to the van, putting your camera equipment back into your bag and hoisting yourself back into your seat. Ryan resumed his position as driver, and the van doors closed, however Shane was not in front of you. A 'click' from beside you resulted in the turning of your head, only to see Shane putting his seatbelt on beside you. Catching your gaze, he quickly smiled at you before looking back to his belt, adjusting the strap. You looked to the wall of bags in front of you, now complete with the stuffed-duffle bag that had previously laid obediently at Shane's feet.

"You ready?", Ryan turned and placed his arm along the top of the row of seats you and Shane were sat in.

You nodded while Shane projected a loud and sarcastic, "To the spook house!", to Ryan, who was now turning back around to pull out of the parking space. Music creeping it's way back up in volume, Shane moved his shoulders in an awkward, restricted dance; much like the one you had created before entering the restaurant. Looking to you, he bounced his eyebrows and smiled. You scowled with a smirk as if to say, 'What are you doing, man?', however you soon joined him with a smile. You felt another strong wave hit you, Ryan was too busy concentrating on the road while entertaining a figurative arena of fans with his singing to emit anything too concentrated in his aura, which left only Shane. It was joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The location mentioned in this chapter hasn’t been investigated by Shane and Ryan, however it does exist and the location is accurate!


	5. Yeah

Blaring music crept down in volume gradually for the remainder of the trip. Ryan's judiciously chosen songs subtly and slowly hushed and began to sound more like whatever was in the top-charts, you appreciated Ryan's dedication to the trip's soundtrack, however each lyric that was screamed in fun scratched at your throat like a rake, therefore you weren't upset that the humming of the road eventually look pride-of-place in your ears; seldom else could be heard save for the radio. Your senses took advantage of the lack of conversation, deviating to the window and fixing themselves on the road. Though the van hurtled towards San Diego, the picture outside of the glass feigned stillness; the same cracked tarmac, baron landscape, and withered desert plants followed you. Images can be deceiving however; what looked to be a wasteland that was a shell of the thriving horizon it once was, in actuality was a bustling eco-system that adapted to a humbling extent to it's merciless surroundings. Dehydrated bushes were breaking from their roots to be carried by the dry breeze and spread their seeds across the dust, wax coverings on contorted plants shielded their life from the beating sun, and coiling limbs of weeds sprung thorns to protect their precious water. What looked to be an abrasive and unhospitable graveyard was a living organism that housed and fed it's inhabitants.

Turning your head gently to the side, not enough to attract attention, you looked to Shane. He sat with one of his long legs crossed over the other; in somewhat of a number four shape. One hand held his head up, elbow weighted into his thigh like a telephone-pole while the other hand rested across the base of his stomach, thumb barely moving across his black phone screen, assumedly just to feel the glass beneath his finger-tip. He was also looking out at the surrounding expanse of sand and cracked earth, seemingly lost in thought as his eyes glossed over the rolling road. Studying his profile for a moment, conflicting emotions that you had learned to associate with Shane reared their head yet again, as if to re-confirm their existence. The same questions whirred in your mind as the very fist evening you had met: Is he dangerous? Why is he around Ryan so much? Does he really just want to be friends with him? Is he manipulating me? Is he lying? Can I trust him?

You didn't know the answer to any of these, all you had to direct you was the genuine tone Shane held when explaining things to you the previous night, which pecked at your brain like an annoying bird. He tilted his head slightly, moving the hand that was draped over his stomach to rest against the base of the window, allowing him to press his temple against the glass. You hated that you had begun to develop a small amount of trust for Shane, given what he was and your duty, it was against your nature. However as you watched the side of his face vibrate almost undetectably you couldn't help but humanise him; much like the cactus, maybe Shane presented a prickly and dangerous image that threatened you, but only did so because he had something worth keeping safe underneath the exterior. 

The remaining time the three of you had left of the trip hazed, the silence and sparsely changing surroundings erasing the concept of time as you remained inside your own head. Unwritten events that had the slightest possibilty of occuring played through your mind like a slide-show of irreparable disasters; despite your willingness to hope for the most positive outcome of the trip, hoping wasn't in your job description, realism was. Ridiculously, you were saddened. The damned way you felt about Shane and his intentions practically tried to scream a hole in your scepticism and dread. As much as you attempted to deny yourself, you didn't want Shane to be like The Choir had described. You didn't want him to hurt Ryan, you didn't want him to harm all those that both you and Ryan grew to care for, you didn't want to place Ryan in further danger by revealing yourself and shattering his perception of his best friend. In the far corners of your mind, you even had a stifled voice that confirmed the reluctance to hurt Shane, to see him in pain. You didn't want to kill him. 

Gradually, the scenery seemed to transform; city began to take root in the arid planes, it was like you witnessed 200 years worth of development in 10 minutes. Before you knew it, the van wasn't far from your destination, and idle chatter that was central to the investigation had quietly sparked. For the most part, you let the boys handle the technicalities of the investigation; you were a guest that could work a camera; and this may be the only episode that you'd attend, therefore you transitioned in and out of listening to Ryan and Shane discuss the itinerary and trying to make sense of the dense cloud of thought that weighed-heavy on your mind.

Ryan's voice reached you even in the deep recesses of your mind as he raised it slightly, "We're going to stop-off at the hotel to drop our bags off first, and we can go and grab lunch after, sound good?".

You twisted your torso to face him with an enthusiastic but weary smile and nodded confidently, the stretch of your back was more than welcome. Emotions exhausted humans more than you had first-thought. Revelling in the feeling of contracting and relaxing your muscles, Shane sang a, "Yeah", with an elongated and wavering tone on the 'e'. Looking to face him, your eyes caught his pupils yet again, although this time you didn't feel a guttural urge to scowl in disgust and make a point of ignoring his irises scanning your face as you looked away. Your fleeting glance lingered for a moment. Shane's eyes were a warm shade of brown, although that description alone didn't do then justice. They were comforting, kind when he smiled; they were the type of eyes that made you feel as though, if caught at exactly the right angle in the setting sun, they would be somewhere in-between a pleasantly suffocating blanket of swirling browns that enveloped you like conditioned velvet, and the first time an astronaut laid eyes on an alien landscape; terrifying, unique, but you were unable to breathe in the presence of such a monumental beauty. His human form was expertly crafted. Humans tended to associate eyes with glass panes that allowed you to see into the depths of their being, however you knew better. Shane's were intricately carved, no doubt to give an illusion of innocence. Almost losing the ability to voluntarily look away, you felt saddened yet again. It was such a pity that such intoxicating eyes showed no soul at all.

Shane smiled and turned back to his screen. Grateful that he broke the intensity before it could go on for too long, you returned your restless and absent stare to the window, tracing the outlines of the sub-urban surroundings as you made your way to the hotel.

The building was small, however it seemed extremely well-kept. White stone walls that had been cracked and stained in places with age looked timelessly tasteful, especially accompanied with pots filled with a meticulously unkempt array of vibrant flowers laid at the feet of the walls like an offering. There were even hanging-baskets, their flowers spilling over the side and suspending themselves above the many stones that littered the ground. Disembarking the van, you took in the building's atmosphere, it seemed to radiate happy memories, it felt almost like a warm summer-evening out in the open, while laid in the arms of a lover; like the best type of fever-dream you could have. Trailing closely behind the boys to the front-door, you gently grazed your hand over the bumpy wall's surface. You saw two children dressed in mid-1800's era clothing run past the wall in your mind, a young pair of siblings. Deep chestnut-coloured hair billowed in the wind as the little girl fled, screaming in delight as her brother chased her across the once undeveloped horse-field. Disturbed wind rushed past you as they galloped away, tiny silhouettes fading into the once-dense tree-line until only giggling voices emanated before you.

"They looked happy", Startling at the voice beside you, your neck snapped around to face Shane. He looked down at you with crossed arms and a small but amused smile momentarily before returning his eyes' attention to the tree-line. Unaware of how long you'd been staring, you followed suit.

"Yeah. They did", you said. Previously unaware that Shane could also see this type of thing, you were pleasantly surprised. It was nice to experience such intimate and hidden things with someone else. Hysteric laughter now hushed, the treeline began to devolve back into the car-park it had been developed into 20 years ago. Comfortable silence guided the atmosphere as both of you projected a mindless gaze. "I didn't know you could see them". You said, your longing eyes not faltering in their distant state.

Shane remained silent for a few seconds, but you could practically hear the contented smile pulling his lips. "Yeah. I see them everywhere. They're like flies", he said with a subtle laugh. You humoured his attempt at being friendly, however his voice returned to it's previously amused state, although it now had a streak of seriousness. "I like it when they're like that. Sometimes they're in so much pain, it's horrible to see and-".

"It hurts that you can't do anything about it", you breathed a sigh and questioned whether you had ever said anything so flatly. Your eyes were still trained in front of you, the only reason being to avoid Shane's own stare. Questioning his sincerity was out of the question for you at that moment; the type of sadness he spoke of was usually kept to the celestial being that saw it, conversing with one another about it was unheard of, especially with a demon. However you felt his heart ache as much as yours as he spoke the sentence. You each had memories of seeing the tormented, one particular woman's cries were forever burned into your mind. Walking through a cemetery as a macabre short-cut years earlier, you witnessed two small children and (who you assumed to be) their father, all stood before a gaping rift in the earth. He gripped the children's shoulders tightly and they muffled their sobs into his thick black coat. Beside them was the spirit of a woman who wept and screamed hysterically as her body was lowered within the coffin, fruitlessly attempting to gain their attention.

Shane looked down at you, and you broke your gaze to do the same. He opened his mouth to say something, however he stopped, stood with mouth gaping like a fish. Eventually he settled with a, "Yeah", and a look of embarrassment, to which you smiled sympathetically.

"Guys! What are you waiting for?", Ryan swung out of the front door, obviously confused as to what his friends had abandoned him for. Both of your heads snapped to Ryan, wearing sullen expressions that made you both reminiscent of a sheep. Ryan moved his head in a, 'this way', motion and grinned, allowing the door to swing shut behind him as he ducked inside the reception.

You looked at each other once again, your necks like pieces of memory-foam that had been squashed and returned to their original shape. Nothing had to be said. You both knew how crushing your positions could be. Celestial abilities came with immense responsibilities and sometimes sights that you had to harden yourself to, although it wasn't easy. Shane eventually broke a smile and wandered to your side bashfully, hands in pockets. he nudged your shoulder with the top of his own arm. "Come on, we better get set up", he began to walk toward the darkly-varnished door. It looked as though the wood was made from old pine. Staying put momentarily, you took in the situation that you concluded had evoked too much emotion to be over so quickly. Shane turned back to you. "You coming?".

You paused, noticing the somewhat pained and worried expression that he was trying to mask. It was as though he was trying to pretend that he had not just pulled a horrific experience from the depths of his memory like a tooth. You took a deep breath, and adorned what wasn't quite a smile, but indicated a painful happiness, "Yeah". Shane waited for you until you caught up with him, and the both of you entered the hotel reception together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for how long it took for me to publish this chapter! Please feel free to leave your feedback and correct any spelling/ grammar mistakes I've made.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading! Please feel free to leave feedback or to correct any spelling/ grammar misakes! It’d be much appreciated! Have a great day!


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